


Engaged to My Savior

by EideticPrettyBoySpence



Series: Negan’s Little Queen [4]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-10-20 13:51:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20676455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EideticPrettyBoySpence/pseuds/EideticPrettyBoySpence
Summary: Locked up again after coming so close to freedom, I take my strength from Negan to handle it. One day a few months later I feel a more run down than usual, and I notice my stomach is firm. So I go to Siddiq, who tells me I may be pregnant. Now all I have to do is work up the courage to tell Negan.





	Engaged to My Savior

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts up where Loving A Savior (Book One) leaves off, then takes place during 9x12-9x16
> 
> Special thanks to laceybellerain for helping me write the birth of our twins and editing Negan’s proposal for me

When I wake up the next morning, I lay still for a moment, hoping when I open my eyes I’ll find out last night was all a bad dream. But as my eyes adjust to the dim light, I see the familiar concrete walls. I slip out of Negan’s embrace and start pacing the cell, from the door to the end of the bed and back. When I reach the wall again, I pull back my arm and ram my fist into the wall with a scream, busting open the skin on a couple of my knuckles. As I attempt to hit the wall again, Negan catches my elbow; I try to pull my arm out of his grip but he doesn’t let me.

“Hey now, darlin’, there’s no need for that, come here,” the hazel eyed man turns me to face him. Angry tears stream down my face, my eyes shining. He wipes them away with his thumb softly. “It’s ok, we’re ok as long as we’re together.”

“But now that you’re back here it’ll be so easy for Maggie or Daryl to find you. And there’s nothing you could use to defend yourself. Why did we come back here, Negan? We should have kept going, as far as we could.”

“You saw the Sanctuary, doll, there was nothing left. I bet most of those assholes didn’t even wait a week after I was gone before they moved on. Spineless pricks, every last one of them; except for Big Richie, and you know how well that worked out for him. If we would have gone to Hilltop, Maggie or Daryl would have shot me on sight. Hell, I bet any one of them would jump at the chance to put a bullet in my brain. We could have gone to the Kingdom, but I doubt that would have worked out much different for me. Best case scenario, they let Rick and Michonne know I’m there, and we would end up right back here anyway. Honestly this is the safest place we could have gone.”

“But you’re locked up again; I can’t fucking stand it, Negan. It’s crueler than if Rick the prick would have let you bleed out seven years ago.”

As I take a deep breath to continue, my voice edging toward hysterics, the tall hazel eyed man bends down, tipping his head a bit to kiss me softly and cut me off. Powerless to resist, I moan against his mouth, giving him the opening he needed to explore my mouth with his tongue. Desperately I fumble with the buttons on his jumpsuit, and my hand reaches under the waistband of his underwear to stroke his cock, pulling a groan from his throat.

“Damn, baby girl, before we even have breakfast?” He chuckles in my ear causing me to shiver as he kisses down to the curve of my shoulder. “Although, you taste better than the crap they give me to eat.”

He trails his fingers slowly down my stomach before dipping under the waistband of my underwear and slipping two fingers inside me. I arch my hips, moaning softly as he curls his fingers against my sweet spot. “Oh, jesus, Negan. Don’t stop, please don’t stop. More, Daddy, more.”

“Eager, aren’t we, darlin’? So wet for me already. He adds another finger and I whimper softly at the dull burn as he stretches me. “You’re such a good little slut, aren’t you, doll? A good slut for Daddy?” I open my eyes to answer, but he pulls another moan from my throat as he sucks my clit into his mouth. I bite my lip and Negan smirks, his eyes darkened with lust. “Don’t bite your lip, doll, I want them to hear you. Let everyone hear how I affect you.”

“God, Daddy, please fuck me. I want you to fuck me so bad. I want your cock inside me.”

Negan smirks, pulling my pants and underwear down with one tug of his hand as he sucks ny wetness off his fingers. “I want to kiss every inch of your skin before I fuck you, doll.”

He lifts my right foot and places a soft kiss to the bottom of it before kissing his way up to behind my knee. He comes so close to where I need him most, then sucks on my hip bone and kisses and nips his way up my side. He sucks a hickey onto the curve of my neck before kissing and nibbling his way back down to my left foot. He leaves me a wriggling, mewling mess before he even touches my pussy. Finally, finally he sucks on my clit; then his tongue dives inside me. The obscene noises he makes as he eats my pussy drive me insane. 

“Oh fucking shit, Negan, I’m gonna cum.” 

The grey haired man lines his cock up with my entrance and enters me with one snap of his hips. My back arches off the bed as I groan, heat pooling in my belly. It doesn’t take long for Negan’s breathing to become ragged, and he rests his forehead against my neck, groaning harshly as he cums. I follow him with a cry, dragging my nails across his shoulders and sinking my teeth gently into his neck; not enough to break the skin, but enough to leave a mark. 

Once we can catch our breaths, I pull my clothes back on as Negan buttons up. Then he pulls me against his side and kisses me softly. I lay my head on his chest with a contented sigh.

Judith comes to visit almost every day, asking Negan and I questions about her father and her brother. We tell her stories of them, her Uncle Carl, and our lives at the Sanctuary. Negan even tells her about killing Glenn and Abraham, and the day Rick the prick almost killed him. As he starts telling that story, I hide my face against his chest with a whimper; he runs his fingers through my hair and rubs my back softly.

One day, I’m sitting in Negan’s lap, my head on his shoulder while he reads a book, and Michonne comes storming in to the basement and shuts the door with a slam, making me jump. He closes his book and looks up. “Welcome home. I’m surprised it took so long.”

“I want answers. And I’m told you’ll only give them to me. So... tell me. Why the hell did you come back? ‘Cause I know for damn sure it wasn’t for nothing.”

“Well, in fairness to Gabe, it wasn’t all his fault that I got out. You can’t keep a big dog locked up forever. Sooner or later, he’s got to run.”

“Yeah, but you ran back. So what kind of dog does that make you?”

He sets his book aside and scoops me off his lap, setting me down next to him before he stands up and walks toward the bars of the cell. “I’m glad you asked. You know I was in your home. I could’ve waited there. Bashed your head in when you walked through the door. Hell, I could’ve bashed in a whole lot of heads. But I didn’t.”

“Because you knew you’d be a dead man if you tried. You’re an asshole, not an idiot. No, I think, you decided to take your shot out there, and ‘out there’ spit you out, so you dragged your pathetic ass right back here. That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Well, you’re right, the world has changed. But the thing is... I’ve changed too.”

“What do you want?”

I walk up behind Negan and wrap an arm around his waist; he drapes an arm over my shoulder as he replies. “If you’re not gonna kill me, then maybe you could learn to trust me a little bit.”

“Wow. Wow. You choose self-preservation over revenge and you think that earns you my trust? Wow. If spouting fresh bullshit counts as change, congregations, Negan, you are a new man.”

“You’re keeping me in here to remind everybody how merciful the great Rick Grimes was.” I scoff softly, rolling my eyes. “But I am telling you, I can be so much more than that. I can help you.”

“I don’t need anything you’re selling.”

“You have a really good thing going for you here, but it is slipping through your fingers. And it is only a matter of time before you lose control of it completely.”

“Where are you getting this?”

“My windows to the world are right outside your meeting room. I’m not deaf. I hear things.”

“Well, you heard wrong.”

“Look, all I’m saying is, I know a thing or two about keeping people in line. I could be a sounding board for you. Leader to... former leader.”

“I’m not the leader here.”

“Oh, come on. Now, I heard you wrote up some constitution that supposedly gives power to the people, and yet you’ve got it so you’re the one that makes all the decisions. Shit. That’s one hell of a racket.”

“It’s not a racket. And you don’t know shit about what goes on here.”

“I know a good leader uses everything to their advantage.”

“Sorry, Negan. If this is why you came back, you should’ve stayed out there.”

“Michonne—“

“Listen! I’m not finished. Now, we will be thing you up while we fortify that lock. And I want those windows closed.” I open my mouth to reply, but Negan squeezes my shoulder gently. Michonne turns on her heel and leaves suddenly, shutting the door with a slam. We don’t see her until the next day. Negan is sitting against the wall next to his bookshelf, reading, and I’m on the bed, leaning against the wall facing the bars 

“Has Judith been down here today?”

“You just curious, or...”

“Answer the damn question.” Michonne snaps. 

“I haven’t seen her. Not since yesterday.”

“What the hell does she talk to you about, anyway?”

“So now you’re curious.”

“For someone who wants to be helpful, you’re doing a pretty shit job of it.”

“Nothing, really. Just chit-chat.”

“Specifics.”

“Homework, sometimes. Other times, how much she misses her Uncle Daryl. She likes hearing stories about her dad. And Carl.”

“So you feed her bullshit.”

“She’d smoke out the bullshit, you know that. I let her know that she’s just as much a badass as Carl was. How he got into the Sanctuary and shot up a bunch of my men.” I flinch softly at the memory; I thought Carl was gonna kill Negan in front of me. “How dear ol’ dad ninja-sliced my jugular.” That memory hurts worse cause it’s still so fresh. “They’re all old stories, Michonne, but they are new to her.”

“And you tell her these things why? Because you know that I haven’t? Or because you’re trying to earn some sort of trust with her? Something that you can use?”

“She likes listening to me talk.”

“You like hearing yourself talk.”

“So we have that in common.” Negan chuckles, and I bite the inside of my cheek softly to keep from laughing out loud. “The point is she comes down here to talk to me because I shoot straight with her. And now, maybe if you did that, you’d be talking to her right now instead of me”

“You shoot straight.” Michonne scoffs. “Really. Did you tell her what you did to Glenn? To Abraham? Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“I have always been honest with her. She asks me questions, and I answer them. So, yeah, she’s heard those stories, too.” As Michonne turns to leave, opening the door, Negan speaks up again. “She hates that you’re not letting new people in. She thinks things should be the way Carl thought they should be in the letter her wrote to her.”

Michonne slams the door and whirls on Negan. “No, you don’t get to talk to me about Carl. And you definitely don’t get to tell me what she wants or feels! She is my daughter!”

“That is exactly right. She is your daughter, so she has her own ideas about how things should be. Oh, you didn’t come down here because you’re curious. You came down here because you have no idea where she is. Maybe she’s off petting a horse. Or maybe she is exactly like her mother, and she is not taking shit lying down.” Michonne turns wordlessly and leaves as Negan finishes speaking.

A few days go by without a visit from Judith, probably because her mother wouldn’t allow her to see Negan. She does manage to come to the window to talk to us for a couple minutes at a time every few days, though. 

A couple days after Michonne’s visit, I can’t button my jeans because my stomach is bloated. I don’t think anything of it until I notice my stomach is firm and a little more pronounced than usual. So when Negan is napping and I notice Judith walk by the window, I pass her a note and tell her to give it to her mother. It doesn’t take long for the dreadlocked woman to come into the basement. Negan wakes up as she shuts the door and wonders what’s going on. 

“I don’t feel very well, that’s all. So I’m gonna go have Siddiq check me out, make sure everything’s cool. It’s probably just a stomach bug or something. I shouldn’t be gone more than a half hour.”

I walk into the infirmary with Michonne and Siddiq is waiting for us. “Ok, Nyssa, what’s going on?”

“Well, I’ve been pretty run down the past few weeks. I didn’t think anything of it, I thought maybe it was a stomach bug and it would go away. I was bloated yesterday, but I thought it could maybe be my period. But then today, I was trying to button my jeans, and my stomach was firm. So now I’m thinking I’m probably pregnant. You probably don’t know, but I was a OB/GYN nurse before all this started. I know neither of you like him, but I love Negan; I don’t expect you to understand, but don’t judge me.”

“I’m a doctor, Nyssa. It’s not my place to judge, I just treat people. I should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat if you’re far enough along; let me grab my stethoscope quick.” Siddiq grabs a stethoscope off the counter and comes back over. He sticks the ear tips in his ears and taps the end a couple times. “This is gonna be cold, sorry.”

He listens for a moment, then hooks the ear tips around his neck with a smile. My hands fly up to cover my mouth as I gasp. “Siddiq...”

“Congratulations, Nyssa, I know you’re gonna be a great mom. I can hear the heartbeat, so if I had to take an educated guess, I’d say you were at least six weeks pregnant. Why don’t you come back and see me in December, and I’ll tell the scouting group who’s going out tomorrow to stop by the hospital and see if they can find a working ultrasound. And then I can tell you the sex of the baby, unless you don’t wanna know. In that case I’ll just give you views where you can’t really tell. But I’m sure you and Negan will at least want pictures.”

“Yeah, I’d like to have them for sure. I don’t know whether or not we’re gonna want to know th sex or not. Thanks, Siddiq.” I hop off the table swiftly. Then I hug the doctor with a chuckle. And, surprising us both, I throw my arms around Michonne as well. “I’m gonna be a mom, I can’t believe it. Come on, I can’t wait to tell Negan.”

I take off running toward our basement cell, skidding to a halt when I reach the door to wait for Michonne to catch up, bouncing on the balls of my feet. Once she walks up, I take a deep breath and try to compose my face before walking into the basement. Negan jumps to his feet when I appear, his forehead creased with worry. He assures Michonne he won’t try anything so she unlocks the door.

“Darlin’ are you alright? Was Siddiq able to tell you what was wrong?” Negan pulls me into his arms, and I let his familiar musky scent ground me. I pull away as Michonne locks the cell; I catch her eye and shoot her a smile that she returns before turning around to leave. Negan quirks an eyebrow at me. “Ok, what was that about? What do you two know that I don’t?”

“So, yeah, Siddiq was able to tell me what was wrong. I think you’d better sit down for this.”

“Cut the bullshit, doll, just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong exactly,” my face breaks into a grin unbidden. “Negan, I’m pregnant. About six weeks. We’re gonna be parents.”

Negan doesn’t say anything for a long time. I start to get worried he’s disappointed. But then his face splits into a grin, both dimples showing. He scoops me up with a booming laugh, spinning me in a circle before kissing me breathless. He doesn’t seem like he’s gonna put me down, so I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

“Holy shit, darlin’, are you shitting me? I’m gonna be a father?” I nod, my eyes brimming with tears. “Goddamn. Lucille and I tried to get pregnant, you know. Before the chemo made her infertile. When she died, I thought that was it for me. I never wanted to have kids with any of my wives. But then you came into my life, almost got yourself killed by a small herd of walkers, and stole my heart.”

“And you came in like my knight in a leather jacket, cutting through the six of them in no time at all. I would have been a goner if it wasn’t for you.” I smile fondly at the memory. 

“But enough about that. Siddiq said he was gonna have the next group who goes on a supply run go to the hospital and see if they can find a working ultrasound machine. Then in ten weeks we can get pictures of the baby. And he can tell me the sex if you wanna know. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not we find out, we can just keep views where we can’t tell. I’d love to have pictures of our baby though.”

“It doesn’t matter to me whether we have a boy or girl, doll. As long as they’re healthy.”

After I tell Negan I’m pregnant, he makes a habit of kissing my stomach and talking to the baby. Especially when we first wake up and before we go to sleep at night. I giggle and tease him every time, smiling fondly at him. Three months go by and soon enough I can’t fit into my regular clothes. I don’t gain too much weight, but it’s enough that I go up a couple sizes. After trying to button my pants for the third time, I give up with a groan. I cover my face as I start sobbing out of nowhere; fucking pregnancy hormones. 

Negan catches his baseball and glances over at me, concerned. “Hey, what’s wrong, beautiful? Why are you crying?”

“I’m fucking fat is what’s the matter. I was fat enough before I got pregnant, but now I can’t fit in my damn jeans.” 

The grey haired man takes his baseball glove off and stands up, taking my face in his hands. “You’re as beautiful as the day I met you, darlin’, if not more so. You’re not fat, you’re perfect. You’re carrying our child, and that’s amazing. So dry those tears, ok?”

I nod slowly, distracted by trying to struggle out of my jeans. Finally I get them buttoned. “I better not gain anymore weight otherwise my pants won’t fit.”

Negan smirks at me, and I smack his chest playfully. “Behave mister. I can’t just not wear pants. People come in and out of here all the time.”

A few months after I saw Siddiq, the weather started getting colder. Which would have been fine, but one day we got slammed with a blizzard. Rosita came in, gave us coats and cuffed Negan to take us us to an empty cabin inside Alexandria with Eugene, Gabriel, Judith, R.J. and some Alexandrians I don’t know.

“I swear to god, I have memorized every square inch of this room. And it still feels like a party.”

“A never ending party from hell.” Rosita says sarcastically.

Since there was two people with guns in the cabin, I convinced Rosita to uncuff one of Negan’s wrists, even though she ties a rope to his ankle and then to a support beam in the middle of the cabin. I snuggle against his side under his jacket and he drapes an arm over my shoulder.

“I mean sure, alright. It smells like a goddamn barn in here, all bored shitless, but—“

“Language!” Judith snaps from where she’s sitting, looking out the window.

“Sorry, sorry kiddo. But, I mean, we’ve got ourselves this hot little love quadrangle here to entertain us. It’s like Christmas to me.” I disguise a chuckle with a cough.

“Well, maybe they’re just as miserable over at Aaron’s or Barbara’s.”

“Gabe, your girl’s doc, is also your girl’s baby daddy. Which kind of begs the question— do you ever wonder what the hell was going on in there when she was having her ‘appointments’?”

“You know, you could try to be a little less predictable.”

“Aah. That hurts, Gabe, truly.”

“You know, we’re all grownups here. And none of us would let that ruin the long-standing friendships and mutual respect we have.”

“You know what. You’re right. That is a very mature attitude to have, Father ‘Not the Father’. Is that unpredictable enough for you?”

“Jude, don’t sit so close to the window.”

“Hey, kid, you still worried about that mutt?”

“Daryl told me to take care of him while he helped the Kingdom move to Hilltop. I don’t know where he is.” Judith shrugged sadly.

“Does anybody else smell something?”

“Can you stop being such an asshole?”

“No, he’s right. Something does smell funky in here.”

“Get away from there.” Eugene pulls Siddiq and Gabriel back from the fire right before it explodes outward. Negan curls his body protectively around me, shielding me from the blast. 

We’re only in the dark for a minute until Eugene clicks a flashlight on, shining it up the chimney. “As I suspected. The chimney flue is completely gunkified. What singed your nostrils earlier was no doubt a toxic mixture of creosote and H2O. Blizzard’s done some tearing and blaring. And our chimney’s ventilation capabilities are nil to none. It would be unwise to speak up another blaze lest we plan on ceasing all respiratory functions, aka smoking and choking.”

“God, I missed you, Eugene.”

“I can’t say the same.”

Judith covers her and her brother’s laps with a quilt. I shiver slightly, and Negan strips off his coat, bundling it around me. I try to protest but he shakes his head. “I’m fine, darlin’, don’t worry about me.”

“You know, without a fire, we’ll never get these people warm enough.” Siddiq says, and Rosita sighs softly.

“You’re right, we should leave before the temperature drops any lower.”

“Ok, folks.” Gabriel claps his hands. “Contingency plan. We’re going to Aaron’s house. It’ll be tight quarters, but we’ll make it work.” Everyone walks toward the door but I crouch down to try and undo Rosita’s knots. I give up after a moment with a strangled sob.

“Goddamn, Rosita, were you in the arm before all this or something? Someone fucking help me with this knot!!” 

“Seriously? Not one of you assholes is gonna untie me?”

“We could tell Michonne it was an accident.” Rosita says, and I whirl on her.

“We can tell her I accidentally ran into you in the dark to explain your black eye, too, bitch.” I stalk toward her. I get about five steps before Negan snags my wrist, so I just glare at her. “Look, either someone helps him or you can leave us both behind. I’m not leaving without him.”

Finally someone unites him, and everyone huddles together, holding the rope with one hand. Gabriel throws open the door and we venture slowly into the blizzard. We’re walking for a while when suddenly we hear Dog barking, and Judith runs off into the storm.

“Dog! Wait! Dog! No!”

A split second later, Negan tells me to stay put before he runs after Judith, yelling her name 

“Negan, no!! Wait!! Come back!!” I try to run after him, but Rosita puts her hand on my arm. I whirl on her, my hand balled into a fist. “Rosita, I like you, I really do. But I swear to god, if you don’t let go of me I will punch you in the face. He could get hurt out there.”

“Fine, it’s your funeral. You’re really willing to possibly die for that asshole?”

“I love him, so yes, I’ll take that chance.” Without another word, I run off into the storm, calling his name and listening for the sound of his voice. 

“Do not let go! Keep going! Hold the rope!” Rosita shouts behind me. 

I follow Negan’s voice, sighing with relief as I see the tan coat in the distance. I trot toward him as fast as I dare to. He doesn’t hear me run up until I’m right behind him, then he turns toward me, glaring at me. 

“Nyssa, what the fuck are you doing? I told you to stay with the group.”

“There was no way I was gonna stay put, not knowing if you were gonna come back to me or not. Plus, I love Judith too. I wanna help.”

“Christ, doll, you really know how to push my buttons sometimes. We need to keep looking for Judith, but this isn’t over.”

Suddenly, there’s a faint snap, and Negan falls with a yell. “Ah! Goddamnit!”

“Negan! Hey, it’s ok, I got you. Come on, you gotta get up.” I help him to his feet, and he yells for Judith again right before we hear a faint bark.

After a few agonizing, slow minutes, we reach Judith just as she loops a rope over Dog’s head. 

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.” Negan kneels on his uninjured leg. He pets dog before hugging Judith, picking her up with a grunt. “Oh, okay. I gotcha, I gotcha.” He lets go of my hand to grab the rope around Dog’s neck. 

We walk until we find a building that’s sort of sheltered from the wind. Negan sets Judith down and brushes her hair away from her face. “Hey, hey, hey. You okay?”

“I’m okay.” Judith answers softly.

“Here you go.” Negan strips off his jacket and drapes it over Judith like a blanket; I take off my scarf and wrap it around her neck. “You know, I know why you’re doing this. You’re just trying to get a little extra Negan time, aren’t you?” He chuckles softly. “Can I tell you something, kid? That dog, he better poop little golden nuggets. You know what I’m saying?”

Judith glances down at Negan’s leg with a grimace. “Your leg looks like shit.”

“Language, Miss Grimes.” Negan rests his forehead against Judith’s. “You noticed, huh? It doesn’t feel great, to tell you the truth. It’ll be alright. I’m real glad I found you.” He rips a strip of cloth from his shirt and ties it around his thigh with a groan. “Okay, kiddo, we gotta get out of this weather. All right.”

Negan picks up Judith with a grunt, shaking his head when I offer to carry her. 

“Dog, too.” Judith says.

“What?”

“We have to get him back.”

“Oh, the dog. Okay. All right. All right. Come on, dog.” 

We find shelter and wait out the storm, and the snow finally stops. Rosita and Siddiq find us, and Rosita cuffs Negan to take him to the infirmary. I follow them, sitting on the bed next to him and letting him squeeze my hand, while Siddiq sets his leg. Then I curl against his side, my head on his chest and my hand over his heart. He runs his fingers through my hair, and I sniffle softly, cuddling even closer as a tear runs down my cheek.

“Hey, darlin’, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Negan tips my chin up, brushing a tear away with his thumb. 

“Watching you go off into the blizzard was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. It could have been the last time I saw you, Negan. Rosita told me to keep holding on to the rope, not to go after you, and I almost punched her in the face. I would have never forgiven myself if I didn’t follow you and you got hurt or lost, and you died all alone. I didn’t think, I just ran after you. I knew I had to follow you, so I did.”

Negan kisses me softly, resting his forehead against mine and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. I cup his cheek in my hand, kissing him a few more times. “You know I’ll always come back to you, doll. You are the most stubborn, infuriating, reckless and courageous woman I have ever met. I would tell you to never do something that reckless again, but we both know you wouldn’t listen. I’ve only loved one other woman this much, and that was my wife. If I lost you, it would destroy me completely.”

“And you don’t think it would kill me if you wouldn’t have come back? My heart stopped when you disappeared into the storm and I couldn’t see you anymore. I could hardly breathe until I found you again.”

Michonne comes into the infirmary a short while later. “Hey, look who’s here.”

She stands by Negan’s bed and finally speaks with a sigh. “Thank you. For saving her. You always did have a flair for the dramatic.”

“Well, last time we were here together, Rick has just slit my throat open. So this...” I flinch with a whimper, and Negan kisses the top of my head softly, wrapping his arm tighter around my shoulder. “Hell, this ain’t nothin’. She’s a special girl. A damn spitfire. And you.. you’ve been through enough.”

“Get better.” 

Michonne turns to leave, and Negan speaks up again. “You know, Dr Babydaddy said that you got caught in the storm with the Royalty Brigade. Is everyone okay?”

“Do you care?”

“Look, I don’t know any of those people from Adam. I do know what it’s like to lose a kingdom, see things fall apart. And it sucks ass.”

“The Sanctuary’s a shithole now.”

“Well, hell, I could’ve told you that, all you had to do was ask. So, you cut through their territory. Ballsy.”

Michonne takes a chair from alongside the wall and sits down with a sigh. “We don’t even know if they were there. The point is, we came together, and we made it.”

“Common enemy, common goal.”

“Or, facing evil brings good people together.” I bristle instantly at that, but Negan squeezes my arm gently.

“Same thing. It’s just that no one ever thinks that they’re the evil one.”

Michonne leaves, and we’re finally alone again. I still can’t shake the feeling that I could have so easily lost him today, 

When I wake up the next morning, I lay still for a moment, hoping when I open my eyes I’ll find out last night was all a bad dream. But as my eyes adjust to the dim light, I see the familiar concrete walls. I slip out of Negan’s embrace and start pacing the cell, from the door to the end of the bed and back. When I reach the wall again, I pull back my arm and ram my fist into the wall with a scream, busting open the skin on a couple of my knuckles. As I attempt to hit the wall again, Negan catches my elbow; I try to pull my arm out of his grip but he doesn’t let me.

“Hey now, darlin’, there’s no need for that, come here,” the hazel eyed man turns me to face him. Angry tears stream down my face, my eyes shining. He wipes them away with his thumb softly. “It’s ok, we’re ok as long as we’re together.”

“But now that you’re back here it’ll be so easy for Maggie or Daryl to find you. And there’s nothing you could use to defend yourself. Why did we come back here, Negan? We should have kept going, as far as we could.”

“You saw the Sanctuary, doll, there was nothing left. I bet most of those assholes didn’t even wait a week after I was gone before they moved on. Spineless pricks, every last one of them; except for Big Richie, and you know how well that worked out for him. If we would have gone to Hilltop, Maggie or Daryl would have shot me on sight. Hell, I bet any one of them would jump at the chance to put a bullet in my brain. We could have gone to the Kingdom, but I doubt that would have worked out much different for me. Best case scenario, they let Rick and Michonne know I’m there, and we would end up right back here anyway. Honestly this is the safest place we could have gone.”

“But you’re locked up again; I can’t fucking stand it, Negan. It’s crueler than if Rick the prick would have let you bleed out seven years ago.”

As I take a deep breath to continue, my voice edging toward hysterics, the tall hazel eyed man bends down, tipping his head a bit to kiss me softly and cut me off. Powerless to resist, I moan against his mouth, giving him the opening he needed to explore my mouth with his tongue. Desperately I fumble with the buttons on his jumpsuit, and my hand reaches under the waistband of his underwear to stroke his cock, pulling a groan from his throat.

“Damn, baby girl, before we even have breakfast?” He chuckles in my ear causing me to shiver as he kisses down to the curve of my shoulder. “Although, you taste better than the crap they give me to eat.”

He trails his fingers slowly down my stomach before dipping under the waistband of my underwear and slipping two fingers inside me. I arch my hips, moaning softly as he curls his fingers against my sweet spot. “Oh, jesus, Negan. Don’t stop, please don’t stop. More, Daddy, more.”

“Eager, aren’t we, darlin’? So wet for me already. He adds another finger and I whimper softly at the dull burn as he stretches me. “You’re such a good little slut, aren’t you, doll? A good slut for Daddy?” I open my eyes to answer, but he pulls another moan from my throat as he sucks my clit into his mouth. I bite my lip and Negan smirks, his eyes darkened with lust. “Don’t bite your lip, doll, I want them to hear you. Let everyone hear how I affect you.”

“God, Daddy, please fuck me. I want you to fuck me so bad. I want your cock inside me.”

Negan smirks, pulling my pants and underwear down with one tug of his hand as he sucks ny wetness off his fingers. “I want to kiss every inch of your skin before I fuck you, doll.”

He lifts my right foot and places a soft kiss to the bottom of it before kissing his way up to behind my knee. He comes so close to where I need him most, then sucks on my hip bone and kisses and nips his way up my side. He sucks a hickey onto the curve of my neck before kissing and nibbling his way back down to my left foot. He leaves me a wriggling, mewling mess before he even touches my pussy. Finally, finally he sucks on my clit; then his tongue dives inside me. The obscene noises he makes as he eats my pussy drive me insane. 

“Oh fucking shit, Negan, I’m gonna cum.” 

The grey haired man lines his cock up with my entrance and enters me with one snap of his hips. My back arches off the bed as I groan, heat pooling in my belly. It doesn’t take long for Negan’s breathing to become ragged, and he rests his forehead against my neck, groaning harshly as he cums. I follow him with a cry, dragging my nails across his shoulders and sinking my teeth gently into his neck; not enough to break the skin, but enough to leave a mark. 

Once we can catch our breaths, I pull my clothes back on as Negan buttons up. Then he pulls me against his side and kisses me softly. I lay my head on his chest with a contented sigh.

Judith comes to visit almost every day, asking Negan and I questions about her father and her brother. We tell her stories of them, her Uncle Carl, and our lives at the Sanctuary. Negan even tells her about killing Glenn and Abraham, and the day Rick the prick almost killed him. As he starts telling that story, I hide my face against his chest with a whimper; he runs his fingers through my hair and rubs my back softly.

One day, I’m sitting in Negan’s lap, my head on his shoulder while he reads a book, and Michonne comes storming in to the basement and shuts the door with a slam, making me jump. He closes his book and looks up. “Welcome home. I’m surprised it took so long.”

“I want answers. And I’m told you’ll only give them to me. So... tell me. Why the hell did you come back? ‘Cause I know for damn sure it wasn’t for nothing.”

“Well, in fairness to Gabe, it wasn’t all his fault that I got out. You can’t keep a big dog locked up forever. Sooner or later, he’s got to run.”

“Yeah, but you ran back. So what kind of dog does that make you?”

He sets his book aside and scoops me off his lap, setting me down next to him before he stands up and walks toward the bars of the cell. “I’m glad you asked. You know I was in your home. I could’ve waited there. Bashed your head in when you walked through the door. Hell, I could’ve bashed in a whole lot of heads. But I didn’t.”

“Because you knew you’d be a dead man if you tried. You’re an asshole, not an idiot. No, I think, you decided to take your shot out there, and ‘out there’ spit you out, so you dragged your pathetic ass right back here. That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Well, you’re right, the world has changed. But the thing is... I’ve changed too.”

“What do you want?”

I walk up behind Negan and wrap an arm around his waist; he drapes an arm over my shoulder as he replies. “If you’re not gonna kill me, then maybe you could learn to trust me a little bit.”

“Wow. Wow. You choose self-preservation over revenge and you think that earns you my trust? Wow. If spouting fresh bullshit counts as change, congratulations, Negan, you are a new man.”

“You’re keeping me in here to remind everybody how merciful the great Rick Grimes was.” I scoff softly, rolling my eyes. “But I am telling you, I can be so much more than that. I can help you.”

“I don’t need anything you’re selling.”

“You have a really good thing going for you here, but it is slipping through your fingers. And it is only a matter of time before you lose control of it completely.”

“Where are you getting this?”

“My windows to the world are right outside your meeting room. I’m not deaf. I hear things.”

“Well, you heard wrong.”

“Look, all I’m saying is, I know a thing or two about keeping people in line. I could be a sounding board for you. Leader to... former leader.”

“I’m not the leader here.”

“Oh, come on. Now, I heard you wrote up some constitution that supposedly gives power to the people, and yet you’ve got it so you’re the one that makes all the decisions. Shit. That’s one hell of a racket.”

“It’s not a racket. And you don’t know shit about what goes on here.”

“I know a good leader uses everything to their advantage.”

“Sorry, Negan. If this is why you came back, you should’ve stayed out there.”

“Michonne—“

“Listen! I’m not finished. Now, we will be thing you up while we fortify that lock. And I want those windows closed.” I open my mouth to reply, but Negan squeezes my shoulder gently. Michonne turns on her heel and leaves suddenly, shutting the door with a slam. We don’t see her until the next day. Negan is sitting against the wall next to his bookshelf, reading, and I’m on the bed, leaning against the wall facing the bars 

“Has Judith been down here today?”

“You just curious, or...”

“Answer the damn question.” Michonne snaps. 

“I haven’t seen her. Not since yesterday.”

“What the hell does she talk to you about, anyway?”

“So now you’re curious.”

“For someone who wants to be helpful, you’re doing a pretty shit job of it.”

“Nothing, really. Just chit-chat.”

“Specifics.”

“Homework, sometimes. Other times, how much she misses her Uncle Daryl. She likes hearing stories about her dad. And Carl.”

“So you feed her bullshit.”

“She’d smoke out the bullshit, you know that. I let her know that she’s just as much a badass as Carl was. How he got into the Sanctuary and shot up a bunch of my men.” I flinch softly at the memory; I thought Carl was gonna kill Negan in front of me. “How dear ol’ dad ninja-sliced my jugular.” That memory hurts worse cause it’s still so fresh. “They’re all old stories, Michonne, but they are new to her.”

“And you tell her these things why? Because you know that I haven’t? Or because you’re trying to earn some sort of trust with her? Something that you can use?”

“She likes listening to me talk.”

“You like hearing yourself talk.”

“So we have that in common.” Negan chuckles, and I bite the inside of my cheek softly to keep from laughing out loud. “The point is she comes down here to talk to me because I shoot straight with her. And now, maybe if you did that, you’d be talking to her right now instead of me”

“You shoot straight.” Michonne scoffs. “Really. Did you tell her what you did to Glenn? To Abraham? Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“I have always been honest with her. She asks me questions, and I answer them. So, yeah, she’s heard those stories, too.” As Michonne turns to leave, opening the door, Negan speaks up again. “She hates that you’re not letting new people in. She thinks things should be the way Carl thought they should be in the letter her wrote to her.”

Michonne slams the door and whirls on Negan. “No, you don’t get to talk to me about Carl. And you definitely don’t get to tell me what she wants or feels! She is my daughter!”

“That is exactly right. She is your daughter, so she has her own ideas about how things should be. Oh, you didn’t come down here because you’re curious. You came down here because you have no idea where she is. Maybe she’s off petting a horse. Or maybe she is exactly like her mother, and she is not taking shit lying down.” Michonne turns wordlessly and leaves as Negan finishes speaking.

A few days go by without a visit from Judith, probably because her mother wouldn’t allow her to see Negan. She does manage to come to the window to talk to us for a couple minutes at a time every few days, though. 

A couple days after Michonne’s visit, I can’t button my jeans because my stomach is bloated. I don’t think anything of it until I notice my stomach is firm and a little more pronounced than usual. So when Negan is napping and I notice Judith walk by the window, I pass her a note and tell her to give it to her mother. It doesn’t take long for the dreadlocked woman to come into the basement. Negan wakes up as she shuts the door and wonders what’s going on. 

“I don’t feel very well, that’s all. So I’m gonna go have Siddiq check me out, make sure everything’s cool. It’s probably just a stomach bug or something. I shouldn’t be gone more than a half hour.”

I walk into the infirmary with Michonne and Siddiq is waiting for us. “Ok, Nyssa, what’s going on?”

“Well, I’ve been pretty run down the past few weeks. I didn’t think anything of it, I thought maybe it was a stomach bug and it would go away. I was bloated yesterday, but I thought it could maybe be my period. But then today, I was trying to button my jeans, and my stomach was firm. So now I’m thinking I’m probably pregnant. You probably don’t know, but I was a OB/GYN nurse before all this started. I know neither of you like him, but I love Negan; I don’t expect you to understand, but don’t judge me.”

“I’m a doctor, Nyssa. It’s not my place to judge, I just treat people. I should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat if you’re far enough along; let me grab my stethoscope quick.” Siddiq grabs a stethoscope off the counter and comes back over. He sticks the ear tips in his ears and taps the end a couple times. “This is gonna be cold, sorry.”

He listens for a moment, then hooks the ear tips around his neck with a smile. My hands fly up to cover my mouth as I gasp. “Siddiq...”

“Congratulations, Nyssa, I know you’re gonna be a great mom. I can hear the heartbeat, so if I had to take an educated guess, I’d say you were at least six weeks pregnant. Why don’t you come back and see me in December, and I’ll tell the scouting group who’s going out tomorrow to stop by the hospital and see if they can find a working ultrasound. And then I can tell you the sex of the baby, unless you don’t wanna know. In that case I’ll just give you views where you can’t really tell. But I’m sure you and Negan will at least want pictures.”

“Yeah, I’d like to have them for sure. I don’t know whether or not we’re gonna want to know th sex or not. Thanks, Siddiq.” I hop off the table swiftly. Then I hug the doctor with a chuckle. And, surprising us both, I throw my arms around Michonne as well. “I’m gonna be a mom, I can’t believe it. Come on, I can’t wait to tell Negan.”

I take off running toward our basement cell, skidding to a halt when I reach the door to wait for Michonne to catch up, bouncing on the balls of my feet. Once she walks up, I take a deep breath and try to compose my face before walking into the basement. Negan jumps to his feet when I appear, his forehead creased with worry. He assures Michonne he won’t try anything so she unlocks the door.

“Darlin’ are you alright? Was Siddiq able to tell you what was wrong?” Negan pulls me into his arms, and I let his familiar musky scent ground me. I pull away as Michonne locks the cell; I catch her eye and shoot her a smile that she returns before turning around to leave. Negan quirks an eyebrow at me. “Ok, what was that about? What do you two know that I don’t?”

“So, yeah, Siddiq was able to tell me what was wrong. I think you’d better sit down for this.”

“Cut the bullshit, doll, just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong exactly,” my face breaks into a grin unbidden. “Negan, I’m pregnant. About six weeks. We’re gonna be parents.”

Negan doesn’t say anything for a long time. I start to get worried he’s disappointed. But then his face splits into a grin, both dimples showing. He scoops me up with a booming laugh, spinning me in a circle before kissing me breathless. He doesn’t seem like he’s gonna put me down, so I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

“Holy shit, darlin’, are you shitting me? I’m gonna be a father?” I nod, my eyes brimming with tears. “Goddamn. Lucille and I tried to get pregnant, you know. Before the chemo made her infertile. When she died, I thought that was it for me. I never wanted to have kids with any of my wives. But then you came into my life, almost got yourself killed by a small herd of walkers, and stole my heart.”

“And you came in like my knight in a leather jacket, cutting through the six of them in no time at all. I would have been a goner if it wasn’t for you.” I smile fondly at the memory. 

“But enough about that. Siddiq said he was gonna have the next group who goes on a supply run go to the hospital and see if they can find a working ultrasound machine. Then in ten weeks we can get pictures of the baby. And he can tell me the sex if you wanna know. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not we find out, we can just keep views where we can’t tell. I’d love to have pictures of our baby though.”

“It doesn’t matter to me whether we have a boy or girl, doll. As long as they’re healthy.”

After I tell Negan I’m pregnant, he makes a habit of kissing my stomach and talking to the baby. Especially when we first wake up and before we go to sleep at night. I giggle and tease him every time, smiling fondly at him. Three months go by and soon enough I can’t fit into my regular clothes. I don’t gain too much weight, but it’s enough that I go up a couple sizes. After trying to button my pants for the third time, I give up with a groan. I cover my face as I start sobbing out of nowhere; fucking pregnancy hormones. 

Negan catches his baseball and glances over at me, concerned. “Hey, what’s wrong, beautiful? Why are you crying?”

“I’m fucking fat is what’s the matter. I was fat enough before I got pregnant, but now I can’t fit in my damn jeans.” 

The grey haired man takes his baseball glove off and stands up, taking my face in his hands. “You’re as beautiful as the day I met you, darlin’, if not more so. You’re not fat, you’re perfect. You’re carrying our child, and that’s amazing. So dry those tears, ok?”

I nod slowly, distracted by trying to struggle out of my jeans. Finally I get them buttoned. “I better not gain anymore weight otherwise my pants won’t fit.”

Negan smirks at me, and I smack his chest playfully. “Behave mister. I can’t just not wear pants. People come in and out of here all the time.”

A few months after I saw Siddiq, the weather started getting colder. Which would have been fine, but one day we got slammed with a blizzard. Rosita came in, gave us coats and cuffed Negan to take us us to an empty cabin inside Alexandria with Eugene, Gabriel, Judith, R.J. and some Alexandrians I don’t know.

“I swear to god, I have memorized every square inch of this room. And it still feels like a party.”

“A never ending party from hell.” Rosita says sarcastically.

Since there was two people with guns in the cabin, I convinced Rosita to uncuff one of Negan’s wrists, even though she ties a rope to his ankle and then to a support beam in the middle of the cabin. I snuggle against his side under his jacket and he drapes an arm over my shoulder.

“I mean sure, alright. It smells like a goddamn barn in here, all bored shitless, but—“

“Language!” Judith snaps from where she’s sitting, looking out the window.

“Sorry, sorry kiddo. But, I mean, we’ve got ourselves this hot little love quadrangle here to entertain us. It’s like Christmas to me.” I disguise a chuckle with a cough.

“Well, maybe they’re just as miserable over at Aaron’s or Barbara’s.”

“Gabe, your girl’s doc, is also your girl’s baby daddy. Which kind of begs the question— do you ever wonder what the hell was going on in there when she was having her ‘appointments’?”

“You know, you could try to be a little less predictable.”

“Aah. That hurts, Gabe, truly.”

“You know, we’re all grownups here. And none of us would let that ruin the long-standing friendships and mutual respect we have.”

“You know what. You’re right. That is a very mature attitude to have, Father ‘Not the Father’. Is that unpredictable enough for you?”

“Jude, don’t sit so close to the window.”

“Hey, kid, you still worried about that mutt?”

“Daryl told me to take care of him while he helped the Kingdom move to Hilltop. I don’t know where he is.” Judith shrugged sadly.

“Does anybody else smell something?”

“Can you stop being such an asshole?”

“No, he’s right. Something does smell funky in here.”

“Get away from there.” Eugene pulls Siddiq and Gabriel back from the fire right before it explodes outward. Negan curls his body protectively around me, shielding me from the blast. 

We’re only in the dark for a minute until Eugene clicks a flashlight on, shining it up the chimney. “As I suspected. The chimney flue is completely gunkified. What singed your nostrils earlier was no doubt a toxic mixture of creosote and H2O. Blizzard’s done some tearing and blaring. And our chimney’s ventilation capabilities are nil to none. It would be unwise to speak up another blaze lest we plan on ceasing all respiratory functions, aka smoking and choking.”

“God, I missed you, Eugene.”

“I can’t say the same.”

Judith covers her and her brother’s laps with a quilt. I shiver slightly, and Negan strips off his coat, bundling it around me. I try to protest but he shakes his head. “I’m fine, darlin’, don’t worry about me.”

“You know, without a fire, we’ll never get these people warm enough.” Siddiq says, and Rosita sighs softly.

“You’re right, we should leave before the temperature drops any lower.”

“Ok, folks.” Gabriel claps his hands. “Contingency plan. We’re going to Aaron’s house. It’ll be tight quarters, but we’ll make it work.” Everyone walks toward the door but I crouch down to try and undo Rosita’s knots. I give up after a moment with a strangled sob.

“Goddamn, Rosita, were you in the arm before all this or something? Someone fucking help me with this knot!!” 

“Seriously? Not one of you assholes is gonna untie me?”

“We could tell Michonne it was an accident.” Rosita says, and I whirl on her.

“We can tell her I accidentally ran into you in the dark to explain your black eye, too, bitch.” I stalk toward her. I get about five steps before Negan snags my wrist, so I just glare at her. “Look, either someone helps him or you can leave us both behind. I’m not leaving without him.”

Finally someone unites him, and everyone huddles together, holding the rope with one hand. Gabriel throws open the door and we venture slowly into the blizzard. We’re walking for a while when suddenly we hear Dog barking, and Judith runs off into the storm.

“Dog! Wait! Dog! No!”

A split second later, Negan tells me to stay put before he runs after Judith, yelling her name 

“Negan, no!! Wait!! Come back!!” I try to run after him, but Rosita puts her hand on my arm. I whirl on her, my hand balled into a fist. “Rosita, I like you, I really do. But I swear to god, if you don’t let go of me I will punch you in the face. He could get hurt out there.”

“Fine, it’s your funeral. You’re really willing to possibly die for that asshole?”

“I love him, so yes, I’ll take that chance. If he died, I’d be lost. I can’t live without him.” Without another word, I run off into the storm, calling his name and listening for the sound of his voice. 

“Do not let go! Keep going! Hold the rope!” Rosita shouts behind me. 

I follow Negan’s voice, sighing with relief as I see the tan coat in the distance. I trot toward him as fast as I dare to. He doesn’t hear me run up until I’m right behind him, then he turns toward me, glaring at me. 

“Nyssa, what the fuck are you doing? I told you to stay with the group.”

“There was no way I was gonna stay put, not knowing if you were gonna come back to me or not. Plus, I love Judith too. I wanna help.”

“Christ, doll, you really know how to push my buttons sometimes. We need to keep looking for Judith, but this isn’t over.”

Suddenly, Negan falls with a yell. “Ah! Goddamnit!”

“Negan! Hey, it’s ok, I got you. Come on, you gotta get up.” I help him to his feet, and he yells for Judith again right before we hear a faint bark.

After a few agonizing, slow minutes, we reach Judith just as she loops a rope over Dog’s head. 

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.” Negan kneels on his uninjured leg. He pets dog before hugging Judith, picking her up with a grunt. “Oh, okay. I gotcha, I gotcha.” He lets go of my hand to grab the rope around Dog’s neck. 

We walk until we find a building that’s sort of sheltered from the wind. Negan sets Judith down and brushes her hair away from her face. “Hey, hey, hey. You okay?”

“I’m okay.” Judith answers softly.

“Here you go.” Negan strips off his jacket and drapes it over Judith like a blanket; I take off my scarf and wrap it around her neck. “You know, I know why you’re doing this. You’re just trying to get a little extra Negan time, aren’t you?” He chuckles softly. “Can I tell you something, kid? That dog, he better poop little golden nuggets. You know what I’m saying?”

Judith glances down at Negan’s leg with a grimace. “Your leg looks like shit.”

“Language, Miss Grimes.” Negan rests his forehead against Judith’s. “You noticed, huh? It doesn’t feel great, to tell you the truth. It’ll be alright. I’m real glad I found you.” He rips a strip of cloth from his shirt and ties it around his thigh with a groan. “Okay, kiddo, we gotta get out of this weather. All right.”

“Judith’s right, your leg looks like shit.” I look at Negan’s leg with a grimace.

Negan picks up Judith with a grunt, shaking his head when I offer to carry her. 

“Dog, too.” Judith says.

“What?”

“We have to get him back.”

“Oh, the dog. Okay. All right. All right. Come on, dog.” 

We find shelter and wait out the storm, and the snow finally stops. Rosita and Siddiq find us, and Rosita cuffs Negan to take him to the infirmary. I follow them, sitting on the bed next to him and letting him squeeze my hand, while Siddiq sets his leg. Then I curl against his side, my head on his chest and my hand over his heart. He runs his fingers through my hair, and I sniffle softly, cuddling even closer as a tear runs down my cheek.

“Hey, darlin’, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Negan tips my chin up, brushing a tear away with his thumb. 

“Watching you go off into the blizzard was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. It could have been the last time I saw you, Negan. Rosita told me to keep holding on to the rope, not to go after you, and I almost punched her in the face. I would have never forgiven myself if I didn’t follow you and you got hurt or lost, and you died all alone. I didn’t think, I just ran after you. I knew I had to follow you, so I did.”

Negan kisses me softly, resting his forehead against mine and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. I cup his cheek in my hand, kissing him a few more times. “You know I’ll always come back to you, doll. You are the most stubborn, infuriating, reckless and courageous woman I have ever met. I would tell you to never do something that reckless again, but we both know you wouldn’t listen. I’ve only loved one other woman this much, and that was my wife. If I lost you, it would destroy me completely.”

“And you don’t think it would kill me if you wouldn’t have come back? My heart stopped when you disappeared into the storm and I couldn’t see you anymore. I could hardly breathe until I found you again.”

Michonne comes into the infirmary a short while later. “Hey, look who’s here.”

She stands by Negan’s bed and finally speaks with a sigh. “Thank you. For saving her. You always did have a flair for the dramatic.”

“Well, last time we were here together, Rick has just slit my throat open. So this...” I flinch with a whimper, and Negan kisses the top of my head softly, wrapping his arm tighter around my shoulder. “Hell, this ain’t nothin’. She’s a special girl. A damn spitfire. And you.. you’ve been through enough.”

“Get better.” 

Michonne turns to leave, and Negan speaks up again. “You know, Dr Babydaddy said that you got caught in the storm with the Royalty Brigade. Is everyone okay?”

“Do you care?”

“Look, I don’t know any of those people from Adam. I do know what it’s like to lose a kingdom, see things fall apart. And it sucks ass.”

“The Sanctuary’s a shithole now.”

“Well, hell, I could’ve told you that, all you had to do was ask. So, you cut through their territory. Ballsy.”

Michonne takes a chair from alongside the wall and sits down with a sigh. “We don’t even know if they were there. The point is, we came together, and we made it.”

“Common enemy, common goal.”

“Or, facing evil brings good people together.” I bristle instantly at that, but Negan squeezes my arm gently.

“Same thing. It’s just that no one ever thinks that they’re the evil one.”

Michonne leaves, and we’re finally alone again. I still can’t shake the feeling that I could have so easily lost him today, so I snuggle into his side and hide my face in the hollow of his shoulder.

“Hey now, darlin’, there’s no need for tears. I’m fine, I promise. Like I told Michonne, this ain’t nothin’. I’ll be out of here before you know it. I still can’t believe you were so reckless, coming after me when I specifically told you to stay. How could you be so reckless? You could have gotten hurt.”

“Yeah, but you did get hurt, Negan. Hell, that injury would have probably incapacitated someone less stubborn than you.”

“I told you when we were out there that this wasn’t over, doll. You know you’re in trouble, right?” Negan’s eyes darken with anger and lust, and I shiver under his gaze.

“Yeah, I knew when I ran off I’d be in trouble later. I just didn’t care at the moment; all that mattered was finding you. I felt like I couldn’t breathe when you disappeared into the storm, and I didn’t breathe properly until I found you again.”

The hazel eyed man swings his legs over the edge of the bed, knees slightly apart. “Come here, lay over my good leg.”

I obey, and Negan works my pants and underwear down, exposing my ass. He rubs my cheek softly before slapping it without warning. “Your ass is gonna be fifty shades of red by the time I’m done with it;” he growls softly as he spanks me. “You won’t be able to sit down without thinking about me.” He spanks me ten times on each side before rubbing the sting away. “Now lay down in front of me, doll. I’m gonna fuck you from behind.”

“Yes, Daddy,” I obey, one arm pillowing my head. “Please, fuck me, Negan. Let Siddiq hear us, I don’t care.”

“That’s my good girl,” Negan pulls down his pants just enough to pull his cock out, then enters me from behind, and I moan softly. “Let the doc hear how I affect you; don’t hold back.”

“I love when you fuck me like this, Daddy, it’s so deep this way. It’s not hurting your wound, is it?”

“Nope, I’m just peachy, darlin’.”

“Okay, good,” my response ends on a moan, making Negan chuckle in my ear; the sound makes heat pool right in my core. “Ah, fuck, Negan, I’m gonna cum.”

Negan growls in my ear as his thrusts become more erratic. “Cum with me, doll, that’s my good girl.” He thrusts into me once more, hard, and that’s enough to make me cum with a cry. He follows a moment later, filling me with his release. 

After we’re done and we catch our breath, Negan pulls his pants back up, and I stand just long enough to button my jeans before cuddling back into his arms. “Sorry I didn’t listen, Negan; I had to find you, like I said. I didn’t think, I just reacted.”

The next morning, Michonne comes back, holding handcuffs in one hand. I bristle instantly, furious. Negan squeezes my shoulder gently. 

“Look, here’s the deal,” Michonne says, holding up her hands for a second. “I’m willing to let you out during the day to help with chores, but we’re gonna lock you up at night.”

“Alright, I’ll take it; sounds like a pretty good deal to me. So when do I start working?”

“Tomorrow, I’ll have you in the garden and Nyssa can help Siddiq in here. But for now, you’ll have to go back to your cell. Can you put weight on your leg yet?”

“I think so, hold on a minute.” Negan stands with a grunt, and I can see the pain in his eyes. 

“Good, okay, now turn around.” I open my mouth to say something but Negan catches my eye, shaking his head. “Come on, let’s go.”

Once we get to the cell, Michonne nudges him not so gently into it, then turns to me. “Nyssa, you don’t have to stay with him at night anymore. I’m sure we can find an extra bed for you inside somewhere. It’s gonna start getting colder at night, and that cell is no place for a pregnant woman in the best of circumstances.”

“As long as y’all make him stay here, I’m not leaving him. That’s not happening.”

The next morning I walk with Negan to the garden, standing on tiptoes to kiss him in full view of everyone before I head to the infirmary. Siddiq starts me out organizing the supply cupboard, then eventually has me help him out treating injuries and things. It doesn’t take me long to fall into a routine that’s not much different from when I worked in the hospital.

One day a few months later, at the end of the day when I’m organizing the supply cupboard in the infirmary, I hear shouting coming from the garden. I peek my head out and look in that direction to see two people fighting. “Hey, Siddiq, I’m gonna go see what’s going on over there, I’ll be back.”

I take off in the direction of the garden and my blood boils as I see Daryl and Negan fighting. I push myself to go faster, skidding to a stop at the edge to avoid running into someone. Then I push my way through, trying to get to Negan. “Excuse me, pardon me. Out of my way!!”

I place myself in between the two men just as Daryl throws a punch; his fist collides with the side of my face, and my vision explodes in white as my left ear starts ringing. Negan lunges for the long haired man just as I struggle to my feet and plant my hands on his chest. 

“You’re gonna punch a pregnant woman, asshole? Lay a hand on my woman?! I’ll fucking kill you!!”

“Hey, no. Negan, baby, listen. It’s ok, it was just an accident. He didn’t mean to hit me, I just got in his way. I’m fine, I promise.” I wipe blood off his lip with my sleeve. “I just couldn’t let him hit you again, not when I could do something. I just wanted you to stop fighting, I wasn’t expecting him to try and hit you when I was there. But I’m gonna go tell Siddiq that I want to be in garden duty, cause obviously I need to supervise you.”

I get Michonne to let me work in the gardens with Negan so I can keep an eye on him, and eventually it comes time for my six month ultrasound. The night before, we’re cuddling and talking about it cause I can’t sleep. Negan rubs my back softly.

“So, darlin’, do you want to find out if we’re having a girl or a boy if the little cutie cooperates? Or do you wanna be surprised? I know you said you didn’t care before, but you might have changed your mind.”

“I mean, if we can tell, then that’s fine. But if not, then I’m fine with it being a surprise.” I yawn widely, snuggling closer. “I’m really tired, Negan. Let’s go to sleep.”

The next day, Michonne comes into the basement. “Hey, Nyssa, are you ready to see your baby? Let’s go to the infirmary. Negan, we’ll be back in a little bit.”

“Michonne, can’t he please come with me? It’s his baby too. He won’t try anything, will you, babe?”

Negan holds up three fingers together. “Scouts honor. You can even cuff me if it makes you feel better, Michonne. I just wanna see my baby.”

Michonne sighs softly and pulls cuffs out of her back pocket. “Fine, come on then. Siddiq is expecting us over there.” She cuffs Negan’s hands in front of him and we walk to the infirmary. 

“Hey, Nyssa, good to see you.” Siddiq looks up from setting up the ultrasound machine. “Go ahead and lie down. Pull your pants down a little, and you can tuck your shirt into your bra.”

I convince Michonne to uncuff one of Negan’s wrists so I can hold his hand. Siddiq squeezes some ultrasound gel onto the probe wand and I shiver softly as he presses it onto my stomach. I gasp softly as I see my baby’s profile, flicking my gaze up to Negan’s face. His eyes are shining with tears, and I squeeze his hand gently.

The grey haired man’s voice is choked with emotion as he speaks. “Look at that, darlin’. Our baby face is right there. Can you believe it?” 

Siddiq looks at the screen as he moves the probe around a little. “It doesn’t look like they’re gonna cooperate so we can see the gender. Actually, wait a second... it looks like there’s another fetus here.”

“Wait, twins? We’re having twins? Negan...” 

The tall man bends and rests his forehead against mine, cupping my cheek in his hand. “I can’t believe this. I love you so much, darlin’. I haven’t been this happy in way too long.”

“I love you too, Negan. You’re gonna be such a great dad.”

“It doesn’t look like either baby is gonna let us see their gender, but I can still give you pictures if you want them. 

“Yeah, we’ll take them back to the cell, hang them up on the wall. Thanks, Siddiq.” I adjust my wardrobe after the doctor wipes the ultrasound gel off my stomach. “I guess we’ll see you in like three months unless I develop complications.”

Once the doctor hands me the strips of pictures, I hug Negan, and he ducks his head to kiss me quickly. After Michonne secures the other cuff onto Negan’s wrist we walk back to the cell. We walk in and the dreadlocked woman locks the door again. I tuck the pictures in the windowsill, and my boyfriend comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I lean back against him with a contented sigh.

“I can’t believe we’re having twins. We gotta start thinking of names. For a boy I’m thinking either Axel or Virgil. And for a girl, I was thinking Luci, for your wife. If you’re ok with it.”

“That would be amazing, doll. I’ve always wanted a little girl. Daddy’s little princess.”

“And I’ve always wanted a little boy who looks like his daddy; gorgeous hazel eyes and dimples. He’d be just as tough and have just as big a heart.”

The next day I go back to work in the infirmary, and work every day up until the middle of February, when I cut back to three days a week. Finally it’s March, six months into my pregnancy. I work in the infirmary on my good days, and stay home a lot more. I’m reading a book one night when Negan comes back and Michonne let’s him into the cell. He sits down on the bed with a soft sigh and pulls me into his arms.

“Hey beautiful, how was your day? I missed you.” 

“I missed you too, gorgeous. Did Daryl behave himself, or does he need to get his ass kicked by a pregnant woman?”

The tall man throws his head back and laughs. “As much as I would love to see that, I didn’t even see the redneck today. It was a pretty uneventful day honestly.”

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my side, and I wince a little, then my face lights up. “Babe, give me your hand, hurry up. One of the babies just kicked.” I put his hand over the spot where I felt the pain, and then I feel it again; Negan’s face lights up, and he looks up at me, beaming. Then he leans a little closer to my stomach to talk to the babies.

“Holy shit, doll. Hey there, little one, it’s your daddy here. Mama’s here too, of course. We love you both so much, and we can’t wait to meet you in a few months.” His voice is choked with emotion, and I run my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp gently. “Now, your gonna have to be patient with me, ‘cause I’ve never done the dad thing before. I’m gonna make a ton of mistakes, but I promise I’ll love you unconditionally.”

As I listen to Negan talk to our kids, I sniffle softly and wipe my eyes. The hazel eyed man kisses me softly. “Hey babies, it’s your mama. I’ve never done the baby thing before either, but I helped raise my siblings and babysat. And I worked in the nursery at a hospital before the world went to shit. I’ll help your daddy when he gets overwhelmed, and I’ll always love you, no matter what. We’ll see you real soon, ok? Now your mama’s gotta get some rest. Good night, angels.”

Negan kisses my stomach softly, then pulls me against his chest, wrapping an arm around my waist and laying his hand on my stomach. I cover his hand with mine and lace our fingers together, lifting his hand to plant a kiss on his palm before placing it back on my stomach. He kisses my cheek softly, whispering an I love you.

After being cooped up for a while unable to work, I get restless, so I start going for walks, hanging out with Judith, reading, or playing with Dog. I convince Michonne to let me help with little things, like folding laundry, watching R.J. for her, cutting vegetables and things for meals. 

On the day of my due date, I’m laying on a blanket snuggling with Dog. I decided to wear one of Negan’s older shirts as a dress so I wouldn’t stain my jeans when my water broke. I had been having mild contractions since I woke up, but I’d gotten to the point where I could mostly ignore them. I just walked around with Dog some and played fetch with him. 

Around eight in the morning, just as we had completed our small circle and were heading back to the blanket, I feel the warm rush of amniotic fluid down my legs as my water breaks. It’s accompanied by a contraction that brings me to my knees with a cry. Dog turns around and notices I’m in distress, so he comes trotting over to me, sniffing me in concern.

“Good boy, Dog. Go find Daryl, bring him here.” He’s off and running before I even finish talking. While I wait for Daryl to come, I concentrate on my breathing, gasping in pain occasionally. It takes about fifteen minutes until I see Dog running back towards me, Daryl not too far behind. Once the shepherd reaches me, he sits and turns to Daryl, barking impatiently. “Hey pretty boy, it’s alright, you got him, thank you.”

Daryl skids to a halt by Dog, breathing heavily. “I came as fast as I could, what’s- oh, shit. Ok, Nyssa, you’re ok. Can you stand up for me?”

“I can try,” I try to stand but a contraction brings me to one knee again. “Yeah, no, I don’t think I can walk, Daryl. Can you help me? Someone needs to tell Ne-“ I’m interrupted by another contraction. 

“Alright, ok honey, I’ll let someone know. We’re almost to the infirmary, Siddiq will take care of you.” The redneck pushes the door of the infirmary building open with his shoulder. “Doc! Nyssa’s in labor, where are ya? Siddiq, get yer ass out here!!”

Siddiq comes out from the supply closet as Daryl sets me on a bed, propping me up with pillows. Carol comes out behind him, taking my hand gently. 

“Hey Nyssa, how’re you doing? How far apart are the contractions?” Carol asks me, brushing my hair out of my face gently.

“They’re about...” I’m interrupted by another contraction. “Ah... I guess less than five minutes apart now; my water broke about twenty minutes ago, maybe a little longer.”

“Ok, great, let’s just see dilated you are real quick. Daryl, you probably don’t wanna stick around for this. Thanks for bringing her in though.”

I turn to talk to the redneck before he steps out. “Can you go tell Negan I’m in labor without getting in a fight? Otherwise go find Judith and have her find him.”

“Nah, I can put aside my dislike of him for a minute, I’m good. I’ll find him and send him over here.” Daryl leaves and the doctor checks my cervix quickly. 

The door slams behind Daryl as he leaves in his search to find Negan. Carol took over immediately, bringing in Lydia as her assistant She starts talking to me to keep me alert while Lydia stuffed a large, woolen blanket behind my back for support. I smile at the girl gratefully.

“Just keep breathing, Nyssa!! C’mon, you’re gonna be fine! You’ve got help here and I’m gonna help you deliver these beautiful babies, alright?”  
I really want to tell Carol to fuck off, but another contraction hits and all I can do is scream and throw my head back. The short grey haired woman stays by my side and even Lydia stays present, fetching water for me and handing tools to Carol when needed.

Whenever I was lucid, I repeatedly asked Carol where Negan was. Each time Carol says “I don’t know”, my heart drops and I fill will despair. I try not to think the worst and hope that Negan would make it in time, but soon, I start worrying that I may have to deliver these babies without him.

Carol must have read my mind somehow, because she gripped my hand and said in a firm, yet gentle voice, “We will find him. You need to focus on yourself and the babies right now. Just focus on pushing.”

The labor goes on and on and I feel like I am going to pass out from the pain. Suddenly, the door burst open, and even in my state of searing pain, Negan’s voice filling the room fills me with relief.

“Nyssa! I’m here! I’m here, baby!” Negan’s face comes into my blurry vision and even though I want to cry with joy upon seeing him, the pain of these two babies barreling through my womb makes me snarl out, “Where the hell were you?!”

Negan doesn’t respond immediately. He just lays his forehead against mine to the side and murmurs, “It doesn’t matter, baby. I’m here, now…I’m here, now.”

The tightness around my belly becomes even more unbearable and I find it becoming harder to breathe. Negan lets me squeeze his hand as he lays his free one on my stomach. He then turns to Carol. “Well?! What’s goin’ on?!”

I feel Carol’s hands on me, figuring out the placement of the first baby before looking at both of us and gesturing for Negan to help. “The first kid’s ready. I see the head. Negan, grab the head. Nyssa, I need you to push as hard as you can!”

The rest I only vaguely remember. I know I asked for mercy and got none. I know Negan was doing his best to make it seem like everything was manageable, even though I know he was shaken to his core. I remember hearing the first baby’s cry and being relieved by the sound. But then the pain returned from the second baby’s delivery and I remember having to push even harder. However, by that time, the pain overwhelmed me and a blackness tumbled around my vision.

When my eyes finally open, I groggily turn to the side and see Negan by my side, his eyes filling with relief when he saw me waking up. As my vision clears, I see Negan holding a bundle of sheets and blankets and that there are tears in his eyes. I try to move, but Negan uses his free hand to hold my shoulder.  
“Baby, don’t move. You’ve lost some blood.” By that time, I’m aware that there are sheets by my feet soaked in blood, looking like someone broke a bottle of red spray paint. My eyes widen, and I reach for Negan. “N-Negan! What happened?! What happened to the babies?! Are they alright?!”  
Negan’s face breaks into a warm, loving smile and he cocks his head over to Carol, who I just then realize is holding a second bundle of blankets. She then lays her bundle gently on my stomach and moving the blankets so I can look inside. “See for yourself, Nyssa. Meet your babies.”

I quickly bring the bundle in my arms closer and the first thing I see is the baby’s head covered in wet black locks, already starting to curl. The baby raises her hair-ridden head and I see biggest, brightest blue eyes staring back at me. I suck in my breath and I realize I’m holding my baby daughter. My Freya. She gives me a curious gaze and her little pudgy hand graces my face, wiping away the tears already coming in streams down my face. I let the tears fall as I kiss Freya for the first time, right on her hairline.

Negan then kneels down to me and shows the baby he’s holding. In my blurry vision, I am able to see that it’s our son. Axel. He is not even a day old and I can already see he is a miniature Negan. Like his sister, Axel has lush black hair covering his little head, but his eyes are a hazel brown, big and wide. I lean as close as possible to plant a kiss on Axel’s little head, then I look up at Negan and whisper, “They’re so beautiful, Daddy.”

Tears bead around my boyfriend’s eyes as he hears the name with new appreciation. He kisses my sweating forehead and his voice starts to break as he lets the tears flow. “They sure are, Mama. You did so good, I’m so proud of you.”

In that moment, it seems that everything in the world just stopped and slowed down. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed. There was no war, no enemies, or even the horrid Alpha. It was just me, Negan and our new babies in the safety of that room. That day was filled with the others coming in to congratulate me in surviving the births and to meet the babies and Judith even managed to convince Daryl to come. I was so relieved to see that she was alright and even though I asked Michonne what had happened last night, she was even more silent that usual and I honestly did not want to push it. I was just happy that we were safe and that Negan was here.

Daryl seemed relieved as well, happy that everyone survived and even though I was still mad at him, I knew that he went to look for Negan, despite his deep-seated hatred for him. Before Daryl left, I gave Freya to Lydia and turned to him, reaching out my hand for his. “Daryl. Thank you.”

A small smile appeared on his face as he took my hand and shook it. “You’re welcome, Squirt.” Nothing else was said and nothing else needed to be said. Considering he wants my boyfriend dead, we’ll never be best friends, but he really came through for me when I needed him.

After staying in the infirmary for a couple weeks, we finally get to go home. Maggie gives me Hershel’s old baby clothes, and after begging Michonne relentlessly, she finally agrees to let Negan out of his cell permanently, and lets us have a house that used to belong to some poor sap who got bit earlier this year. Carol, Judith, Michonne and Lydia clean the house, and a few of the men move Hersel’s old crib into the room next to the main bedroom. After seeing Michonne use Lucille on a walker I got her to agree to give Negan his bat back as long as he swore he wouldn’t use her on anyone in Alexandria.

Once we get the twins settled, Negan spends a long time going around each room on both floors of the house, trailing his hand on basically anything he can. I cover my mouth with a hand to stifle a sob. I never thought I’d get to see my boyfriend outside of that cell again.

“I never thought I’d get the chance to live outside that cell again,” the grey haired man echoes my thoughts, his voice choked with emotion. He turns toward me and I stride quickly over with a sob. His arms envelop me and his lips are on mine a second later. I taste the salt from our combined tears as we kiss. “I love you so goddamn much, darlin’. I’m gonna be the kind of man you can be proud of. That’s a promise.”

“You already are, Negan. You kept all the Saviors alive for years. Not to mention you saved my life. If it wasn’t for you, those babies sleeping upstairs would never have even had the chance to be born. You don’t have to try and become the type of man I can be proud of. I couldn’t be prouder to be your girlfriend, or the mother of your children. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as amazing as you, doll. I tried to stay away from you, cause I knew I wasn’t good enough for you. But lucky for me, you’re as stubborn as I am, and you know what you want. You didn’t give up until you broke me down. And I wouldn’t change a thing. If I could go back, I would save you again and again. Every time.” 

“And I’d choose you, every time. There’s no one else in this fucked up world that makes me feel safer than you do.”

“I would protect you and our children with my life, Nyssa. I would gladly give my life to make sure you’re all safe.”

“I would put myself between you and a herd of walkers without a seconds hesitation, Negan. It would kill me to watch you get bit knowing I could have stopped it.”

Negan chuckles softly and his eyes darken with desire. He trails kisses down my neck and across my shoulder. “Ok, that’s enough sappy bullshit for one day I think. That bed upstairs looked like it’s really comfortable, why don’t we go test it out?”

“Well, fucking finally. You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for the last half hour- time to show me what, exactly, was on your mind.”

Negan scoops me up, and the next second his lips are on mine again. I moan softly, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my fingers in his hair as he carries me up the steps. Our lips never separate when he lowers me to the bed, looming over me with all his weight on his arms.

I tug on his hair gently, pulling a groan from his throat. I struggle with the buttons on his jumpsuit until I finally get them undone and push it down his arms. I reach in his underwear and grasp his cock gently, pulling it out and brushing my thumb over the tip.

“You wanna make me hard, doll? Remind me what that pretty little mouth can do.” Negan growls softly, maneuvering so I can take his cock into my mouth. “Go ahead, suck it, baby. Show me what a good girl you are.”

I lick his cock from base to tip before taking it in my mouth just slow enough to tease him a little. I hollow my cheeks so I can take all of him in, rolling his balls in my hand gently. He groans and looks down at me. 

“I’m gonna fuck that pretty little throat, Nyssa. You ready?” I nod my head once, breathing through my nose as he thrusts slowly in and out. “Jesus, baby, that’s it; such a good girl.”

I hum softly around his cock, pulling another hoarse groan from his lips. His thrusts eventually become more erratic, until finally he thrusts one last time and his delicious release fills my throat. As he pulls his cock out of my mouth, I swallow quickly, and Negan chuckles.

“Such a dirty little girl, aren’t you? That’s my good girl. You got me nice and hard so I can fuck you real good. You ready for my cock?”

“Yes please, Daddy, I want your cock so bad. Fuck me, please Sir.” I groan and my back arches off the bed as Negan fills me with one thrust. “Oh god, Negan, yes. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Please.”

The hazel eyed man smirks and grips my wrists firmly above my head. “Good girl. I’m gonna fuck you so good.” But instead of making good on his threat, Negan nips my ear and leaves a mark on my neck before kissing and nibbling his way down my body.

“Fuck, Negan, quit teasing. I need you so bad, please. Just fuck me already.”

“Try to keep quiet, darlin’. We don’t wanna wake the twins.” Negan leans down and licks slowly over my pussy, and I buck my hips, biting my lip against a moan. “Good girl, Nyssa. Such a good girl.”

He traces one finger gently over my slit, causing me to shiver, before he slips two fingers inside me, curling them against my g spot. He sucks my clit as his fingers pump in and out of me at a steady pace. I groan, my fingers curling a little.

“Negan, fuck, I’m gonna cum. Oh shit.”

“You don’t cum until I say so, understand?” Negan pulls off my clit with an obscene pop. “I wanna hear you beg for it.”

“Ah... fuck. Yes, Sir, I understand.” I pant softly, my toes curling. “Oh my god, Negan, please. Please please please, let me cum.”

“That’s my good girl, cum for me.” As my muscles are still quivering from my orgasm, Negan sheaths himself inside me with a groan. I cry out softly, and he covers my mouth with one hand. “Sh, don’t wake up the babies, darlin’.”

As he thrusts deep inside me, the only sounds in the room are the sound of skin against skin and Negan’s soft groans in my ear. His thrusts become more erratic, and with a few final thrusts, he finally cums. He pulls out and flops on his back next to me with a sigh. I cuddle against him, my head on his chest as I idly play with the small patch of hair there.

“I forgot how good a real mattress feels. I never thought I’d have the chance to lie on one again.” Negan kisses the top of my head softly, and I let out a choked sob. “Woah, hey, what’s wrong darlin’? Why are you crying?”

“I... I’m just... I can’t believe we’re here right now. Michonne actually let you out, and we’ve got two beautiful babies sleeping in the next room. I thought I’d have to watch you die in that cell, and I wouldn’t be able to be there, cause there would be no room for a crib. It would have killed me not to be able to touch you, and there would have been no way I could have slept without you.”

The gorgeous hazel eyed man cups my cheek and kisses me softly, cutting me off before I could get hysterical. “Baby, hush, it’s ok. I’m right here, I got you, I promise. Let’s get some sleep, ok?”

“Yeah, okay, I’m sorry, I’m just still a little hormonal I guess. I love you so much, Negan. I always will, no matter what.”

“I love you too, doll. And those babies. You three are my entire world. Goodnight, Nyssa.”

“Goodnight, Negan.”

After a while, we fall into a pattern, working and taking care of the twins. Sometimes I stay home with them, and sometimes Negan does. Every once in a while Judith or Lydia, sometimes both would come over and babysit. Sometimes I would work in the infirmary, sometimes I would work with Negan. We go on like that for a few months. Then one day, I wake up hearing soft rustling nosies. I sit up and see Negan pulling clothes on.

“What time is it?” I glance at my new phone. “It’s six am, Negan. Where are you going, we don’t have to get up for like an hour.”

“I got something I have to do, darlin’. Go back to sleep, I’ll see you in a little bit. Judith, Carol and Lydia are gonna come over, help you get ready for the day.”

“Um... okay, that’s kinda weird. What’s going on, Negan? You know I hate surprises.” I check the date on my phone: October 3rd. “It’s not my birthday, it’s not Valentine’s Day. You’re up to something, and I don’t know what.”

“Trust me, doll. Do you trust me?” I nod, yawning, and Negan chuckles. He takes his phone in his hands and kisses me softly. “Go back to sleep, love. See you later.”

Pretty soon I’m woken up by Freya crying, so I go into their room and pick her up, bouncing her gently. “Good morning, princess. You hungry? Let’s get your diaper changed and then mama will feed you, alright?”

I manage to get Freya taken care of and into a different outfit before Axel wakes up with a loud cry. I lay Freya on the floor on a blanket. “Okay big man, I hear you. I’m coming, hold on a second.”

I’m just finished changing Axel when there’s a knock on the door. I let Judith, Carol, and Lydia in, noticing that Carol has an outfit over her arm. We walk up into my bedroom before Carol speaks. “I know you don’t have that many outfits here. So I figured you could borrow this.”

She holds up a cute powder blue lace dress, and I gasp softly. “Wow, Carol, it’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear it, though. Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I found it on a run and I was gonna wear it when I married Ezekiel. But then I realized I loved Daryl, so,” she shrugs. “You can have it, if you want it. Daryl’s not really the fancy marriage type.”

“I’m not sure how many chances I’ll get to wear it, but thank you, Carol, it’s beautiful.” I pull my pajamas off and slide the zipper down before I slide it on. “Will one of you zip me up please?”

After I slip on my favorite pair of Docs, I pull my hair into a ponytail. Then I turn to the mirror and gasp softly.

“Wow, I didn’t think I could look this good, what the heck. Thank you so much, Carol. I still don’t understand though. I can’t wear this to work in the garden or the infirmary.”

“We know, it’s ok, my mom gave you the morning off for this. Don’t worry about it, Nyssa. I’m gonna help Siddiq in the infirmary. Come on, Negan’s waiting for you. Carol’s got one of the wagons waiting.”

“Wait, where the heck are we going? I don’t wanna leave the babies.”

“I’ll watch them, it’s fine. They love me.” Lydia shoots me one of her rare smiles. “Go on, you’ll be late otherwise.”

It takes the other women a while to convince me, but in the end I leave after kissing the twins. I stroke the horses and kiss their noses before Carol helps boost me up onto the seat. She clicks her tongue and the horses head off.

“So where are you taking me, Carol. You know I hate surprises.” I turn to Lydia’s mother, quirking an eyebrow in question. “Although I have a feeling you’re not gonna tell me no matter how many times I ask.”

“Trust me, you’ll love it. Negan’s got a surprise for you, and he swore Judith, Lydia and me to silence. You might recognize where we are though, if you stop interrogating me and look around. We’re almost there, anyways.”

I look around quizzically, then gasp softly, tears springing to my eyes. “No. No, no, no. This has got to be some sort of sick joke. Why the fuck would he want to bring me here, remind me of the worst day of my life?”

Carol reaches over and squeezes my hand gently without taking her eyes from the road. “Hey, it’s ok Nyssa; that was a long time ago. He’s completely fine. I have a feeling he just wants to replace your bad memories of this place with a good one. And this is where I leave you. I’ll see you guys when you get back. Now go on.”

I jump down and head towards the tree, palms sweating and heart thudding hard against my ribs. Even with tears running down my cheeks, I still can’t stop my face from breaking into a grin when I see Negan lounging against it, one foot propped against the trunk. As I walk closer, he reaches out for my hand, pulling me against him and brushing the tears off my cheek before kissing me softly. It’s a sort of gloomy day, so the lower branches of the tree where I almost lost him so long ago is strung with fairy lights.

“Why are we here, Negan? We haven’t been here since...” I let out a shaky breath. “Well, you know when we were here last.”

“I know, doll, trust me I know. But I’m still here, still kickin’. And I plan to be around for a lot longer, taking care of you and our babies. I made the mistake of pushing you away when you first came to live at the Sanctuary. I should have dropped all those other women when I started falling for you. But I was stupid, and stubborn, and I thought you deserved better than me. But lucky for me, you’re just as stubborn, and didn’t give up on me. And now we’ve got two beautiful babies who I love more than anything. There’s only one thing I can think of to make my life any better than it is. And replace your bad memories of this place with a good one while we’re at it.”

Negan reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a small box and gets down on one knee. I gasp softly and my hand flies up to cover my mouth.

“Negan... what...” I sniffle softly.

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control. In the fucked up world we live in, you is the only thing that makes my life worth anything. Especially since I got locked up. When I lost my Lucille, my world wasn't worth jack shit until I met you.” Negan swallows thickly, eyes shining with unshed tears. “You have always been on my side, taking care of me and loving me unconditionally. You could've been anywhere, with anyone, but you chose to stay locked up with me. What I'm sayin' is... Darlin’, I’m yours for good. Nyssa Evelyn Irene Johnson, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”


End file.
